Mostafa the driver gets ... Married???

This story epitomizes my life here in Egypt - random, loud, late at night, completely unexpected, and one week later still has us saying "um, what???"

Some background:
I have a driver. A chauffeur, if you will. He drives for me, and several of my colleagues. Over the past year he has helped me on many occasions, and also provided hours of entertainment with silly jokes and play on words. His name is Mostafa. We call him Mostafa the driver. When my parents were here, they were instantly enamored with this fun-loving Egyptian.


Last Saturday I got a text from my coworker Tao.
"Do you want to go to Mostafa's wedding? It's tomorrow."

Um, What???


I thought Mostafa was married? Is this his second wife? And, moreover, What???

It is not unusual to be invited to a wedding days before it happens. Mostafa was kind enough to arrange for a van for us, and provide all necessary details, in his Mostafa way. "Yes, yes, 9:30, Degla. Van. No problem."

It is also not unusual for a wedding to be in the middle of the week, very late at night. [late at night for us teacher-types, that is. A 10pm start is early in the evening here in Egypt.]

We met the van at 9:30. We were 8 - four men, four women. The van started driving to the very outskirts of Cairo, past the pyramids and then down a random dirt road. We did not know our driver, and it was not the first time in my 14 months here that I thought, "I've put my life in the hands of a complete stranger. I don't know where I am, or how I would make my way home." At the same moment, one of my fellow travelers said "Isn't this how horror films usually start?" Thank you, fellow traveler, for voicing my thoughts.

Upon arriving at the site of Mostafa the Driver's "wedding," two things became apparent almost immediately.
1. There was not a single woman in sight.
2. We were the guests of honour.

Mostafa the driver greeted us at the van, shaking our hands and welcoming us with his huge Mostafa grin. We entered the wedding 'area' where a bunch of men were sitting around small tables smoking shisha and drinking tea. We were very over-dressed for the occasion. He led us to the very front table, the only one with a table cloth, and the only one with padded chairs. As the evening continued, we were always served our food first, and were on the official wedding videos more than once. (in fact, way more than once).

The music was loud. And as soon as we arrived, it got louder. Shouting across the table louder. Can't hear yourself think Louder. My ears ringing until 5am louder.

A man got up and started singing. My Arabic is not strong, but I heard numbers. As the song continued, other men went up to stage, and started giving him money. Every time, he would sing about the amount the men gave him. They would say something to the singer, which we can only assume was a message for Mostafa, a greeting, or an explanation of whom exactly the money was from.

This went on for hours.

Eventually Mostafa came over to our table to say hello, and bring us a light snack. Tao asked him about the bride and the actual wedding.

"No no, is tomorrow."

Um, What???

There would be no bride that evening. There would be no wedding. So what, then was this?

A bachelor party? What was I doing there?

The anti-climatic ending to the story is that we never figured it out. We left at 1am, after politely explaining that we had to work. The party was still going strong; Mostafa told us it would go on until the wee hours of the morning.

I do know a few things, and please don't read cynicism in these comments.
We were invited as a status symbol for Mostafa. If he could bring foreign guests to his party, he would somehow be elevated in the eyes of his friends and family.

We were invited because we would give a very generous gift. This is true. We did give a very generous gift, inside a card, and no one sang a song about it. :(

The next morning, I asked my sweet little 13 year olds what it was. Classic Middle school moment:

"Ya miss, you should not have been there." End of story, no other explanations needed.

And that, my friends, is Egypt.